#1 Diary ever: My Sweet 2017 on Its End

daridulu sebenarnya selalu beranggapan bikin diary itu gaguna, cape soalnya. kerja mikirnya otak dan lalulalang kata ibarat sepersekian per milisecond jadi mubadzir bet ngetik malah telat gasinkron sama otak.
so far, i prefer saving memories through photographs, i took a lot of silly pictures but its damn meaningful to me as it becomes a reminder to me although it's just a panorama, place, a glance of activity, food, person, brochure or others. im forgetful af bcoz of a reason, and ive been trying to fight my decreased memory by photographs.

but tahun ini, saking gregetnya, jadi pen aja nulis diary, menjadi pengingat aja udah sejauh apa diri ini melangkah dan apa yg telah dilalui (:

2017: so many things surpassed mine, beyond the boundary.
ada yg pergi & hilang, ada yg datang & kembali, ada yg tetap disini menanti, dan ada yg baru mewarnai hari


quoted in my facebook status:

there are too many blessings to mention to and every time i recall one by one of it, it moves me almost to tears that those are too beautiful even if its a scar.
i was lost in stupidity, superficiality & artificiality of a soul and from him, i learn my lesson of life.
i was able to resolve whats left for years, within me, let it be portrayed in an egoistic apology, my lesson of love.
i had put up a fight for myself, i stand above the o' dearest, i acknowledge whats self-worth.
ive came to know theres someone alike close to me, the damn similarity of some experiences and a bit of dream, we're best friend now.
i began to make a move on rebellion to any wrongdoing that is possible to be warned rather than prioritize ignorance eventhough i know it's going to be a waste, but any attempt still has its value, its willingness.
i took a step higher than before, recognize the potential, step out of the comfort zone, challenge the anomaly in my terms. perseverance on track.
i came to like my smile, my vibes on photographs that were taken by others which i never willed to be taken wholeheartedly if its by others before. shes smiling more and its picturesque to have that kind of smile there.
i ended much negativity, i started my positivity, i postponed any compulsivity.
one thing for sure, i reconcile with time and unpredictability.
so. lets wait. what future might brings very soon.



and now i want to mention some initials and its merit on me:
AR for still being here after so many damn years, you do care and love to hear me out, talk to me, like we're no strangers. our emotional bond is outstanding perhaps. thank you so much, i dont know how to express it anymore. but i always hope all the best comes to you. keep smiling, your smile is cuteee, its diabetic lol youre, no doubt, a sweet person!
AS-. in fact never met him once, but we do talk a lot about many things. the frequency of our communication might be ups-and-downs but i still love it every time we talk a lot about random things. and you're one of the patient person to hear my story out too. you're awesome guy i think. youre unlike those boys, more mature, but nyebelin bikin gregetan juga hahaha i see something different from you as a man, or maybe a man should be like you. jangan kebanyakan stres yak pukpuk
VN i dont know how to say it to you. i cant bear to say it bluntly to you. i know how your heart was like. but youre very different now. i dont know you. youre like a mannequin of someone's visualization. half of my heart pity you, but thats what you decide for yourself, and youre happy about that. thats how i should respect your choice. speaking of which, we have no bond biologically, but i do believe i look after you because we spent so many years together. youre different, but youre still who you are. thats how people develop themselves. maybe youre just fated to develop that way. happy ever after ya
IC-. fate seems want me to have a funny story to tell someday and theres you. your coming a few years ago was unimaginable. and it becomes more unbelievable when you become so precious to me. i dont want to hurt one of my closest friends ever, but in fact i hurt you a lot. i dont know the reason why you stay but i deeply thank you for that, for staying (: thanks for being so freak, rude, blunt, funny, adventurous as ever to me, i like it that way
PW- it makes me laugh out loud when i remember you lol your appearance is funny, but you do make a great impression to others. youre in some parts are so innocence and i like how its so unstained and pure. you have so much love and jokes to give to your surroundings, no wonder they love, miss, and respect you so much as i do. thank you for listening to my rants, i can be myself in front of you as you accept me as who i am, it makes me feel like im home-a place that ive never been.
YP- hahaha i never thought this one can be noteworthy for real. we know each other for years, never been so close before, and nowadays its too close to be true. it started with an offering, a formal one not as a friend i think, then develops to this close because of two persons. our story is alike and it damn matches. "hey maybe they're born to be brothers?", thats what we thought. like every story shared feels like a reminder for us and we shared the same suffering together. we rant rants hard but were being true to each other. i learn a lot from you, damn a lot. thank you, Ma'am lol keep being who you are, youre already awesome that way and i believe brighter future is near dear
FK not only in fact your age is categorized as a man, but also your mental ago surely does show you as a man. i learn so much from you, you opened up, you told your story, you shared your point of view. different culture isnt affected the meaning of being a gentleman itself. and you do care about me like were a best friend, you patiently heared me out, looked after me, did anything a best friend does. you even helped me out, youre such a big help. youre one of my blessings in 2017. thank you so much
RK we talked to each other a bit, not much. but certainly youre a great friend. basic prior knowledge and life but you try to acknowledge more. youre so honest and one of perfect examples bcoz youre so fatherly. send my regards to your family especially your beautiful mom!
TY my sweetyyy. cant get enough of you and cant take my eyes off of you. youre a caring daring one, so sweet yet cool and strong! youre so brave and in spite of the scars you have you still remain tender and remind others. i cant wait 2018 sweety hope it will come true xoxo gbu
AO- & OB i never tried to be so close to same gender before. im just...always messed up when it comes to female friendship but i do enjoy our friendship so far! thank you so much for listening all of my rants. happy new year for both of youuu!
DY thank you, lesson of life.
R be a man dude, if its not for others at least for yourself.
RH- thank you, lesson of love.
and some unmentioned names that might be mentioned last year, you guys are awesome (:
thanks for ever being here and im looking forward for 2018 (:
God bless us
XOXO

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